January 2021. I am writing a code on the 27" screen iMac in front of me, and the itching on my eyes is annoying. In the last weeks the font I am looking at has been enlarged at least four times, and now the words double on the screen. I still don't know but in a few months my eyes will be closed for almost the entire day, with a bit of sight during the late evenings. My usual headaches don't explain it. The neurologists make a couple of diagnosis and prescribe me drugs that worsen the situation. I discover audiobooks. Not a good relationship at the beginning but I really cannot give up on books.
Three years later, I have almost a diagnosis (a severe blepharospasm), and the treatment I received worked but not entirely. I menage to do few thing during the day, the photophobia makes me a vampire, and I use a white cane to go out when I am alone. I cannot work at the moment. In these years I have been officially diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. I started to fix many things in my life (not managed to fix my eyes though!). And, most of all, I am really exasperated. In the middle of my thirties, I see myself without a future, living dull days and wanting to do many things but being told to wait to get better... Enough is enough.
In a few weeks, I am enrolled in an Open University module, aiming to get a degree in English Literature and Creative Writing. English is not even my native language, so it will a demanding project! Stories and writing have always been my passion but at the "right age" I chose a STEM path which assured more job opportunities. I definitely learnt something with all this disaster: making plans is a good thing, but never giving up something fundamental for us! You never know what could happen. So, now, it's my dream time... My partner is almost more thrilled than me, and my biggest supporter. Anyway, I'm starting now a new huge project, or more. Downloaded Duolingo, I started to review French (I studied it at school), and to study from zero Spanish and Norwegian. The latter is quite difficult but I adore it! I also started to keep socials, Instagram and Threads, and journaling. And this blog just to write about this time, when I start again to live. I would like to write once or twice every week, to keep track of my life and improve my English writing skills in the meantime. One can definitely say I have a lot on my plate, but I really want to make the most of the hours of sight that I get! (And I should start again to exercise and lose of weight, but that's an other story!)
It won't be easy... but otherwise it wouldn't be fun, am I not right?
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